The Hope in Free Will
Reasons for Hope (5 of 11)
The Big Question
I can’t tell you how many times as an English teacher my classes encountered the topics of Fate versus Free Will or Fate and Free Will in literature. We studied it from every angle and always enjoyed debating amongst ourselves. Which is really running our lives: Fate or free will?
Considering Fate
A belief in fate seems easy enough. Certain moments in life just seem to fit perfectly with fate. “We were destined to meet, fall in love, live happily ever after.” “It was fate that I found the perfect job just when I needed it.” “We were fated to adopt this child,” (See my personal story “Miracle #1” on this very thing!) But then other moments throw us for a loop. “Was it fate that put me in a relationship doomed to fail?” “Could destiny have been responsible for this horrible thing to which I am a victim?” “Was I fated to suffer so?” If so, what’s the point of that?
I have pondered the role of fate for decades. When my roommate Marsha died at age 22 after a horrible car accident, I spewed angrily in a poem:
Bullshit, God wanted it that way. . . .God wanted us to know that it was a shitty accident.Just that.An accident.A shitty accident.
Considering Free Will
Free will is just as intriguing. When things are going well we like to consider that it was through our own free will - our decisions and choices moment by moment - that we ended up in that amazing job, beautiful home, or balanced life. But when the going gets tough, where does free will take us? “Oh oh, I am responsible for this mess? I don’t want to be responsible!” we may complain.
Let me challenge you to consider the possibility that at some level you indeed have free will and are constantly exercising your free will. And, in fact, that is a very hopeful thing.
Let me challenge you to consider the possibility that at some level you indeed have free will and are constantly exercising your free will. And, in fact, that is a very hopeful thing.
First, let’s consider how much of your life is lived consciously and how much is actually unconscious. We make thousands of unconscious decisions each day including such things as stepping one foot in front of the other, swallowing, and smiling or frowning. Every seasoned driver knows they can even drive a car many miles virtually unconsciously.
Then of course there are the conscious decisions that emerge easily under the umbrella of exercising free will: what to eat for lunch, whether to apply for this one or that one, or if or when to respond to that irritating text message. One can own those decisions confidently. You decided. You exercised your free will.
So choices are being made both consciously and unconsciously. Here is where the hope comes in. Lean in a bit closer now because this is a secret being shared: When you are in choice you always have power. You always have power.
Free Will = Power
This means that you have the power to change or to make new, different and better choices. Perhaps you have been unconsciously making choices that have hurt you or perhaps you have turned your authority over to someone who has hurt you. While certainly those difficulties and struggles are 100% real, having the free will to choose what you do or say or how you respond in the very next moment is huge! If you turn over your life to fate believing it runs the show, you will idle or stall, falling victim to your own belief. But not if you know you have the power that free will brings, even if it feels risky.
I already has a sense of this in 1988 when I was a junior in college:
The Essential
There are no guarantees.
We cannot know that our dreams will be.
But we can hope
that sleepless nights and impassioned anxiety
will one day metamorphose into reality.
But we cannot know.
We must choose -
risking the comfort of the cocoon
for the beauty of a butterfly.
Love, Glory, Joy, Success, Pride
all exist outside of the silky shelter.
Outside we must try to fly.
It means spreading our wings,
opening up,
Swallowing hard.
There are no guarantees.
Outspread wings may embrace pain as well as love
Touch humiliation or glory
sorrow or joy
embarrassment or pride
failure as well as success-
There are no guarantees.
Yet, how will love fly if it never dares to try?
How will we know success within the cocoon of caution?
How will we love ourselves without knowing who we are?
Without risking
we feel nothing
Know nothing
Learn nothing
Live nothing.
Brenda Guetzke
April 26, 1988
One More Thing
Let’s add another layer of complexity to this whole thing. Who is the “I” who has the power? Certainly the personality self, the one who inhabits a body and experiences the body aches and heart aches exists. She is here. In my case, Brenda is here. But there is more to me than that. There is also the “I” that is the seat of my creativity, suddenly imagining a new instructional strategy for my classes or coming up with an inspirational poem. That same “I” who Knows what to say or do in any given situation is here too. The “I” that I might call my higher self or inner self or Self is just as real. And when all of me is aligned, then the choices I make through my own free will take me in a generous and generative direction. What a gift!
If you wish, you can make this claim:
“On this day, I choose to exercise my free will. I choose to make choices consciously. I choose to connect with my heart and my highest self so that the choices I make using my free will are for my highest good. I choose to engage with life on my own terms. On this day I release any attachment I have had to a belief in fate that undermines my own authority or agency.”
Hope in Free Will
We are wiser than settling for either-ors, so let’s not pit free will against fate. But as my 21 year-old self would remind you, exercising free will is powerful and risky. The risk is that you are claiming responsibility for your choices. Yes, things may seem to go sideways at times. Or they may go great. But when you claim your authority through exercising free will you also claim power. For in each moment we can choose to write our own narrative, ever moving toward growth and better versions of ourselves. And if we can trust (even just a little) that all the forces of the universe are always leaning toward growth, purpose and value fulfillment, then we can learn to step more and more confidently into any unknown that lies before us. And so it is that hope resides in the authority and agency that our free will provides.
References
Guetzke, Brenda. “The Essential.” Unpublished poem. 26 April 1988.
Guetzke, Brenda. “God Wanted It That Way.” Unpublished poem. 16 November 1990.
Selig, Paul. I Am the Word: A Guide to the Consciousness of Man's Self in a Transitioning Time. Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2010.
Next up: The Hope in Clearing and Cleaning
You can find my other series in the archives:
Parenting 101 Coupons: A Gift from your Parents
Partnering 101: A Deep Dive into Leaving Kindly
Me-Time: Self-care in the time of Covid
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Brenda BraykoWriter. Teacher. Gong Player.
Find more of my writing at GreenBaytoKorea.blogspot.com
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All photos by © Brenda Brayko 2022.
Inspiring. . . appreciated!