The Heart Wall Tale
Lessons in Life School (Lesson 6)
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The Heart Wall
After watching the documentary The Minimalists, I felt inspired to do some clearing out of our office today. The book shelves got cleared - irrelevant papers were recycled, read books donated - that sort of thing. The desk got cleared and straightened. The whole room rearranged to feel more spacious. It feels good.
Somehow this clearing of a visible space serves as a symbol of the internal clearing that was also happening this week. In my effort to continue learning the Lessons of Life School, I stumbled upon a Buddhist meditative practice called tonglen. And it coincided with a new experience I had planned and on my calendar: clearing a heart wall. Somehow everything converged synchronistically on the heels of a very challenging and provocative conversation I had with my son Adam.
I'm going to share my tale in hope that it will benefit you, as you discover those aspects of yourself that are ready to be cleared - or transmuted as the case may be.
The Tug
It’s funny how you get for what you ask for, although usually not in the way you think you will.
I have a good friend who speaks with much regularity about the “clearing” work that she is doing. It is all in an effort to become the most whole version of herself. From what I have gathered, it is a long and intentional process which illuminates past emotions and events that have embedded themselves in a person at a cellular level. While I, too, have had a few moments of intentional clearing with the help of a spiritual guide some years ago, until this week I can’t say that I have quite understood what my friend meant when she spoke about all this CLEARING she has been doing (over 100 sessions!).
It’s funny how you get for what you ask for, although usually not in the way you think you will. In my case, a few weeks ago I began feeling the tug to try something called a Heart Wall Release. A friend of mine offers this as a part of her WholeHeartAlchemy practice which uses Emotion Code and Body Code practices to bring healing to people. The name of her business pretty much sums it up: Whole. Heart. Alchemy. I booked my first of four sessions with her and awaited the day.
Readiness
I didn’t quite know what it meant to release a heart wall, but I had read about the concept in The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson and had some sense of it intellectually. Apparently, it is estimated that 93% of adults have a heart-wall, a kind of bomb shelter bunker around your heart that has built up over time with an intent to protect you from trauma but later results in preventing you from fully experiencing LIFE and its most vibrant emotions.
In the meantime, all the forces of heaven seemed to say, “Yes! Finally! You’re ready for a dose of REAL transformation” (or clearing or transmutation, depending on how you look at it). I have learned that when something arises it has come to be re-seen and re-known. So, if something like an argument with a loved one pops up out of the blue, don’t get down on yourself or sucked into it; just realize it has arisen for a purpose and that purpose is to re-see it. It’s a version of clearing. In essence, something has been festering and needs to be exposed to the light to finally heal.
The Trigger
No wonder, then, that as I was curious about a Heart Wall Release, SOMETHING popped to the surface seeking my full attention. It came innocently enough as a question from my oldest: “Why don’t you ever talk about your feelings?” Somehow that was a sufficient trigger. (We all have triggers, right?) The next thing I knew I expressed all kinds of unspoken feelings (all negative, of course) and the circumstances for them. I had stepped utterly and completed into my ego-self, open and unhinged. The whole conversation felt pretty icky, gotta say. And there it was - a bunch of CRAP had found its way to the surface.
It wasn’t until the next morning that I had the clarity to realize exactly what had happened: old, harbored crap was ready to be seen, re-seen, transmuted and let go. Lucky me. I steeled myself for the adventure, remembering that only days before I had learned about a meditation practice called tonglen when I had been reading Pema Chödrön’s When Things Fall Apart. The idea is something I’ve never run into before. Here was an opportunity to practice it.
Trying Tonglen
The practice of tonglen aligns you to what I would call the holy spark to do the work of transmuting residue of negative, painful emotions or experiences for your self or a loved one AND THEN also for all who experience something similar. The practice uses a meditative brain state, breathing, and intention in a specific way. In a way it’s similar to the process a plant goes through taking in carbon dioxide and transforming it to life-giving oxygen. We become like the plant, only we’re breathing in the pain and breathing out relief. I imagined something like breathing in black gnats and breathing out sparks of light with an ever widening radius.
I have to say the tonglen meditation that day was very powerful. I could feel heaviness in my heart lightening throughout the process until I felt cleared of the initial negative emotion. My heart felt just like my office does now, more spacious. Something significant had transmuted, or transformed. Wow! For more on tonglen and to try it yourself I recommend this video by Chödrön:
The Heart Wall Session
Later that same day I had my first heart wall release session with Lila (WholeHeartAlchemy.net). During the session I learned about the perceived size of my heart wall. She used the Emotion Code protocols to release various trapped emotions that arose (like grief, anger, and overwhelm). In all 13 emotions were released. Afterward I felt a bit tired and yawned a lot for a bit; that’s pretty typical. It seemed like we were chipping away at, melting, then vaporizing some huge ice cube around my heart. What was there was transforming from something negative, dense, and heavy to something light and airy. Lila muscle tested to get the new, reduced size of my heart wall. Pretty cool, and somehow similar to the tonglen meditation.
And Now
To some readers this might seem like a bunch of mumbo jumbo. To others it might make perfect sense. All I can say is, there are so many amazing ways to tap into our energetic selves and to find healing. I happen to enjoy learning about them and trying them out for myself. If any of this interests you, follow your heart, and give it a try! You never know, you could discover a happier and more whole YOU, if you do.
Resources on the Heart Wall
“Heart Walls.” Whole Heart Alchemy. Wholeheartalchemy.net, 2023. https://wholeheartalchemy.net/heart-walls/
“Heart Wall.” Triad Health Center. Triadhealthcenter.com. https://triadhealthcenter.com/programs/emotional-release-therapy/heart-wall/#:~:text=If%20you%20experience%20severe%20emotional,%2Dlayer%2C%20around%20the%20heart.
You can find all of my series in the archives:
Adulting 101 Coupons: A Gift from your Parents
Partnering 101: A Deep Dive into Leaving Kindly
Me-Time: Self-care in the time of Covid
Reasons for Hope
From Fog to Flow
With a Grateful Heart
Lessons in Life School
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Writer. Gong Player. Teacher.
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All photos by © Brenda Brayko 2023 unless otherwise credited.
It makes perfect sense. I honour your vulnerability. Love the clarity. I marvel at your curiosity and willingness to go deep. Thank you for sharing ❤️
I love this one! This is beautiful. What a path we are on!