Night time me-time
Me-time 101: Self-care in the time of Covid (5 of 11)
Welcome back!
Let’s talk about night time. What is the first thing that comes to mind? The beauty of the moon? Orion or The Big Dipper? Reading by a lone lamp? Or tossing and turning with a mind that won’t shut down?
Almost every adult I talk to has problems sleeping. Sometimes it is just an annoyance; sometimes it is quite debilitating. I am by no means an expert regarding sleep, but over the years I have read a lot and tried different things myself to combat the wakefulness that comes at 3 am due to jet lag or a mind that just won’t shut up. Some of what I share may be entirely new to you and I encourage you to give them a try.
But night time isn’t only about sleep. It is also about a world that looks and feels entirely differently than that of the daytime. So I’d like to also suggest a few ways to appreciate the night, as well.
Like the Night
Something I was reading recently made a strong case for sleeping fewer hours at a time - more like 4 hours at night and 2 - 3 hours in the day. In Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul, Seth said that our present cycle of 7-8 hours only at night separates us from the benefits of a more metaphysically aware Self. The aspect of us that experiences dreams can benefit the aspect of the waking self if the two worlds are less “separate.” I found this a very interesting concept. Seth further suggested that the night itself has much to offer, but we simply miss it because we are always asleep (or trying to sleep!)
Somehow this information created a shift in my own thinking. What if it is completely natural for humans to wake at 3 am? Perhaps our bodies are telling us to get up and enjoy starlight as much as daylight.
So, in the fall, I began an experiment. Each night when I would wake - usually between 3 and 4 am - I would get up, use the bathroom, and step outside for about 3 - 5 minutes. I just took the time to appreciate the night with all of my senses. I listened to the sounds and silences in my neighborhood. I gazed at the clouds or stars or moon with wonder. I would explore the constellations using the Star Tracker Lite app. I would smell the air or feel the cold against my skin in contrast to the heat of the cozy bed. I assumed that getting up like this would mean I would be so wide awake that I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep again, but for me that was not the case. I actually re-entered sleep quite well and awoke refreshed. Perhaps you would like to try this, too. It begins with accepting that you are awake and that that is okay. Allow the nighttime to be your teacher.
Stargazing
Be curious. What can I learn from the night? What can I learn from connecting with nature at night?
If possible and safe, step outside. Stand or sit under the night sky. (Alternatively, open a window and gaze out the window.)
Take 3 deep and centering breaths.
Engage each of your five senses one at a time as you look in the sky. Ask yourself: What do I hear? See? Smell? Feel? Taste?
Return to bed with gratitude for the night and all it has to offer.
Mindful walking - Night version
A variation on this practice is to encounter the nighttime with a mindful walk. Mindful walking is explained in last week’s article “Chill Pills.”
Preparing for Sleep
Bedtime stories. Being tucked into bed. Bedtime kiss. Parents do these things with their children to create routines which help the child to wind down and gracefully enter sleep. How do you prepare for sleep these days? By now you already cognitively know there is a difference between reading a book or reading tweets. One will help you become sleepy while the other will stimulate your brain to keep you awake. But what else can you do to shed the day’s stimulations and stresses?
If you are low on energy and high on stress, this is the supplement for you!
Take a bath with epsom salt
2 cups epsom salts dissolved in a full bath of warm water
Soak for at least 12 minutes.
The heat, the water, the mood, and the magnesium sulfate in the epsom salts all serve to relax and calm you. Did you know every cell in your body needs magnesium to function? According to Healthline.com “studies suggest that approximately 50% of U.S. adults get less than the recommended daily amount of magnesium” (See key resources below). Magnesium contributes to major body functions such as energy creation, protein formation, gene maintenance, muscle movement, and nervous system regulation. So if you are low on energy and high on stress, this is the supplement for you! Magnesium is available in many different forms: food, certain teas, magnesium oil, oral supplements, and . . . epsom salts. What does this mean for bedtime? It could mean that an evening bath with epsom salt is just what the doctor ordered.
Disconnect
Before sleeping, shut off your phone and other devices (or at least use airplane mode). This benefits not only your sleep, but your health and your environment too. Stop interruptions from texts or calls. If you need an alarm clock, consider buying an old fashioned one or set the alarm on your phone and then put it into airplane mode; the alarm will still work. See this article in Utopia.org for more details.
Entering Sleep
The following techniques can be used alone or in any combination. Try them all and see what works best for you. It might be that sometimes one will work well for a while and then another one will work better. So, keep trying!
Conscious Breathing
Take three to five conscious breaths with your attention on breathing into your belly. See more in my previous article “Just Breathe.”
Three Gratitudes
Take a moment to think of three things you are grateful for from the day. Nothing is off limits: a smile from a friend, a good meal, a paycheck, the sound of a bird singing, the presence of a loved one.
Tense and Release
Start at your feet and move up the legs to the buttocks, back, shoulder blades, arms and hands, neck and face. Tense or clench each area of the body for three to five seconds. Then release. Feel the tension wash away and into the bed beneath you. Place your attention on the next part of the body, keeping all other parts completely relaxed. Tense and release that part of the body. Finish by tensing and releasing the entire body from head to toes three times. Keep breathing!
Close your eyes.
Focus on the body and the breath.
Begin with belly breathing then return to gentle breathing.
Tense and release the toes and feet. Hold your breath as you tense, release the breath as you release. (3X)
Tense and release the calves and thighs, holding and releasing the breath as you go. (3X)
Tense and release the glutes/buttocks, holding and releasing the breath as you go. (3X)
Pinch the shoulder blades together, then hunch the shoulders, holding and releasing the breath as you go. (3X)
Scrunch the shoulders to the ears, holding and releasing the breath as you go. (3X)
Tense and release arms and clench the fists tight, holding and releasing the breath as you go. (3X)
Move the neck left, right, (3X) then chin up, chin to chest (3X)
Make a scrunchy face including the forehead, nose, cheeks, and mouth. Release and repeat, holding and releasing the breath as you go . (3X)
Tense and release the entire body now, holding and releasing the breath as you go . (3X)
Focus on the new sensations in the body and the breath.
A similar guided meditation is available below:
Binaural Beats
Few people have heard of binaural beats as a way to aid in entering sleep. However, I have found this sound method, well. . . sound. Essentially, binaural beats take advantage of a phenomenon called entrainment. Our brainwaves can entrain to (or sync up with) other waves. When we are cognitively active, our brain waves are in alpha or beta. As we enter sleep we move into theta. When we are in deep sleep, where healing takes place, we are in delta. Binaural beats, then, are sounds playing at particular wavelengths which our own brains can sync up with, thus shutting down the cognitive (AKA thinking) brain and slipping into a meditative state (theta) or deep sleep (delta). Please note that to use this technique effectively you MUST have earphones or earbuds in. Simply “listening” will not work as there are two different sounds coming through in stereo to create the brain entrainment which brings about sleep.
You can learn more about binaural beats through WebMD here.
It is not easy to find binaural beats that are accurately and effectively created, so do a bit of research before randomly searching for binaural beats. Often, creators mask the binaural beats with other sounds such as nature sounds or spa music. This is not necessary. However, if you find that the pure sounds of two different tones, one in each ear, bring discomfort or annoyance, then certainly try something that masks them. I found that playing Delta binaural beats fairly loudly for ten minutes as I lay in bed helped me to shut down my thinking brain and achieve sleep much quicker. Remove your earbuds or headphones after listening. Look for them wherever you find music or apps. Why not give it a try? I am presently test-driving a paid app called “Endel,” using their one-week free option.
Before your go
How is your self-care going? Have you been finding or making some me-time everyday? I hope so. Life these days can so easily become overwhelming; many people are simply exhausted. If that is you, treat yourself especially kindly this week. Try some of the suggestions here to make friends with the night time - maybe even enjoying a few of the unexpected, middle-of-the-night wake-ups. Or test out some of the natural sleep-aids. Perhaps one or two of those mentioned here will resonate with you and launch a journey to both a better night’s sleep and elevated health and vitality.
Feel free to write a note in the comments.
Resources
“12 Evidence-Based Benefits of Magnesium.” Healthline. Healthline.com.
Cengage Learning. “Guided Meditation: Tense and Release Exercises.” Youtube.com.
Endel: Focus, Sleep, Relax. App. Version 3.9. February 16, 2022.
Gröber U, Schmidt J, Kisters K. Magnesium in Prevention and Therapy. Nutrients. 2015 Sep 23;7(9):8199-226.
Shen, Ji Pan. Star Tracker Lite-Live Sky Map. App. Version 1.9.47, 2021.
Roberts, Jane. “Chapter 8: Sleep, Dreams, and Consciousness,” Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul, 3rd edition, Amber-Allen Publishing, 2012.
“What are binaural beats?” WebMD LLC. 2005-2022.
Winterer, Andreas. “5 Reasons Why You Should Turn Off Your Phone.” Utopia.org. October 22, 2021.
Next up: Me-time to feed your intellect
You can find my other series “Parenting 101 Coupons: A Gift from your Parents” and “Partnering 101: A Deep Dive into Leaving Kindly” in the archives.
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Brenda BraykoWriter. Teacher. Gong Player.
Find more of my writing at GreenBaytoKorea.blogspot.com.
Learn about my business at CelestialSoundGB.com