My Creations
My Creations
Partnering 101: A Deep Dive Into Leaving Kindly (7 of 10)
Get Ready!
Will your partner be able to post on your Facebook account after you have “shuffled off this mortal coil?” Will they be able to shut down your Youtube channel or LinkedIn account? What happens to those thousands of files connected to your Google account?
This week we begin to tackle your creations from your intellectual property to your online data. Personally, I have more questions than answers. But that is a good starting point for all of us. And I am happy to share my research with you. All of us can then take one step forward together. My apologies for what I miss here. The valuable thing will be to begin thinking about and acting upon what we are learning in the murky world of invisible data.
Get Set!
Grab your partner. Print two copies of the worksheet by clicking on the purple button (either the Google doc or the PDF worksheet). Settle in for about 30 minutes in whatever feels most comfortable for you both. Share this article with your partner or simply tell them the topic. This will be a deep dive and may result in some homework.
Go!
Social Media Digital Property and Data
How active are you on social media? What platforms do you use?
Facebook
Google
Instagram
LinkedIn
Pinterest
Twitter
Youtube
Others?
According to WebFX here are four questions to ask as you think about your online data after you die.
Who owns my data?
How long until my profile is deactivated?
Can others claim my username?
What happens when a friend/family member tries to access my account?
You can find a user-friendly infographic at the WebFX website at this link.
Assume that your information continues to be your private property even after death.
In short, each social media platform has its own way of dealing with death, but assume that your information continues to be your private property even after death unless you have enacted certain settings within the social media application or provided others legal access through a will or a trust. My husband and I have recently updated our trust; in it there is a new obligatory section called: “Distribution of Digital Property.” It contains specific language that grants our digital property to one another and then subsequent beneficiaries. Without such legal language, it is quite possible our digital property may not be accessible by our loved ones after we die (or only with great difficulty).
However, in some cases you can be proactive. For example, since 2015, you can activate a legacy contact in Facebook prior to your death which gives that person certain rights and access after you die.
According to Forbes’ article “What Really Happens to Your Big Data After You Die?” (source link) from Feb. 1, 2017, Google “offers an Inactive Account Manager service, which allows you to designate someone who will receive an email if your account isn’t logged into for a certain time. That person can be given permission to download your photographs, documents and emails stored on their server, and the account can also [be] told to self-delete.”
You can also share your login names and passwords as we have covered before, which may be crucial in some cases. But additionally, you may wish to discuss with your partner what you wish to have happen. Should your accounts simply be shut down? If there is an option for memorialization - as Facebook offers, do you wish that? The bottom line is, you should make a plan for your data in the event of your passing.
The bottom line is, you should make a plan for your data in the event of your passing.
By now perhaps you wish to leave kindly by authorizing certain access to your social media accounts. Take inventory of your social media presence and the data that is there. Which social media accounts do you have? What are their policies and can you authorize access? I decided to authorize my family members to have access to my Google accounts a year after I die. They will then have three months to cull through Google photos, my blogs, original Youtube videos and all other things Google-related.
Digital Assets
I am pretty new to thinking about all of this myself, but when I take inventory I realize I have a LOT of digital assets. For example, I have hundreds of pages of my personal writing in the cloud. I have thousands and thousands of pictures in the cloud, in saved files, and on SD cards. Over the years I have written digitally for online audiences - as I am doing now - and I have created videos on Youtube. What if I wrote a novel or other books? Who would have the rights to the digital copies after I died? Without some kind of plan or legal measure, what would happen to all of this? Again, I am no expert, but I can share this with you, if there is no thought or no plan in place, I’m fairly certain my loved ones would be left with a big mess. My digital assets are covered in my will and trust where I have named beneficiaries.
You may have other digital assets, as well, such as purchases from iTunes or Spotify. In most cases these are not true purchases but licenses to use the material. Those licenses die with you, however. So, those ebooks aren’t going to get willed to your offspring. If your account is shut down, the books or music go with it.
Intellectual Property
Do you have any intellectual property? Things like logos, business names, writings, original music, or invented devices or processes can all be considered intellectual property. If you haven’t already done so, you may be wise to pursue securing trademarks on logos or names, copyrights on writings or music, or patents for inventions. Then you can take measures to protect or pass down your intellectual property to your loved ones. In my case, I am writing a parent guidebook that I hope to publish. If I self-publish I will want to secure a legal copyright of it so no one else can steal it. If I use a publisher that will be taken care of for me. Then, through my trust, my beneficiaries could receive income from my written copyrighted material.
Communication Tips
Tip 1: Your tone of voice truly matters. We know this already; all you have to do is remember back to your childhood when a parent used a particular tone that set you off. Perhaps all they were actually saying was “clean your room,” words that in and of themselves are neutral. But the tone they used was short, dismissive, patronizing, or impatient. The tone mattered. Even a “please” doesn’t matter if the tone is negative. So, being conscious of your tone can be quite valuable. If you want to be kind, then consciously sound kind, too.
Tip 2: Treat your partner the way you would a stranger. I don’t know about you, but I am a Midwesterner who grew up in the 70’s. In other words, I like to be kind to strangers; open doors for others, let someone in who is merging on the highway, or bring cookies to the new person in the neighborhood. So when I think about treating my husband as I would a stranger, it is a reminder to be kind, giving, forgiving, and patient.
Tip 3: If any of these tips seem helpful, try them on for a week. Give it a go! Then watch and see what happens.