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How to Use Parent Cheat Sheets and Coupons
So you’ve decided to gift your young adult with “Adulting 101: A Gift from Your Parents” coupons. Fantastic! You are on your way to transitioning your young adult out of the home and into the world. What follows are tips and tricks for how to prepare for the lesson “Hopes and Dreams” as well as access to printable coupons.
First, download the coupons here. (Note that the QR Codes on the coupons will take you to this newsletter’s URL so you have easy access to your Parenting Cheat Sheets.)
Next, print them.
Next, gift them!
Now, prepare.
The Flow of the Lessons
I have been a high school English teacher by trade for over 30 years. So, I guess my mind always thinks “lesson plans”. This is a lesson plan, or better yet a cheat sheet, for parents wishing to guide their child gracefully from the passage of living their final year at home to being out on their own. Each lesson you teach has a flow.
Your young adult hands you the coupon they wish to redeem, with (hopefully) 48 hours notice so you can be fully and completely attentive to the shared 45-minute-or-so session.
You agree on the time, date and place to meet.
You spend time preparing for the “lesson” by reading the associated post provided here!
You meet with your transitioning adult, enjoying time together as you teach the chosen lesson.
Cheat Sheet Tips
Tip 1: Add your own special sauce - your own thoughts and personal stories. If you want to or need to, jot down a few of your thoughts before you meet to access later. It can be interesting to think back to your own high school and post-high school experiences. Sharing such stories of our own triumphs and trials, wins and fails can humanize us to our kids. Don’t underestimate the power of stories to connect you to your child.
Tip 2: Set the stage for success by assuring that when your child asks to collect on a coupon you can give your entire attention to them for at least 45 minutes with no interruptions and with a calm, open heart and mind. In my mind this looked like sitting down at a computer together and talking while taking structured, organized notes. But when the time came, my son Adam requested to go for a walk together to talk about the coupon of choice. Because he was not a natural note taker, I would recap the important break- through understandings and take the notes myself after we returned from the walk. This worked well for us. Be open to what works well for you both! (Bonus tip: Walking side by side generally works better than face to face if you are looking for a very real conversation.
“Remember to let the discussion have its own easy, unfolding flow.”
Tip 3: Use the coupon your loved one is redeeming to guide the discussion. Have it with you, glance at the headings and sub-headings. If you have added any “notes”, use those to shape your discussion. But remember to let the discussion have its own easy, unfolding flow. All real discussions do, and we want this to be real, not contrived.
Cheat Sheet for Coupon “Hopes and Dreams”
Mapping the big picture
Questions for your child: What do you see as the big dream? What are you like? Who are you with? What are you doing? Where are you living? What is your lifestyle? What do you value?
Setting long-term goals
Once you have asked probing questions that add to or verify what you already know about your child’s hopes and dreams, then help them figure out the steps needed to reach that vision.
Break it into smaller, more reasonable chunks. Remember that these are conversation starters and you can always circle back with your child or trust that they will circle back on their own.
Here is an example from my discussion with Adam: He thought maybe he wanted to begin adulthood by becoming an EMT and then later becoming a special effects make-up artist. So we discussed what the roadmap to becoming an EMT would look like and left the make-up artist discussion for another time.
Finishing Well
By treating your child as a young adult, capable of having hopes and dreams all their own, able to find their way forward with gentle assistance, you will be empowering them to navigate their world. So be sure to say “thank you” to them for their courage and willingness to redeem a coupon, to spend time with you in this way, and to connect with you. Leaving the conversation on a positive note will encourage them to collect on another coupon in the future.
Are you finding these Cheat Sheets helpful? If so, please share with your friends or family, the school’s parent organization, or your student’s counselor so that others may benefit as well.
Up Next: “Before you Go”
You can find all of my series in the archives.
Adulting 101 Coupons: A Gift from your Parents
Partnering 101: A Deep Dive into Leaving Kindly
Me-Time: Self-care in the time of Covid
Reasons for Hope
From Fog to Flow
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Writer. Teacher. Gong Player.
Find more of my writing at GreenBaytoKorea.blogspot.com
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All photos by © Brenda Brayko 2022 unless otherwise credited.Thank you for reading Life Cheat Sheets. This post is public so feel free to share it.