From the Mud Comes the Lotus
Reasons for Hope (2 of 11)
“The challenges come as you are ready for them, but you will be met by them, and you must perceive each and every one of them as opportunity, an opportunity to pass the thing that has presented itself as challenge or obstacle to be learned through, to be met by, in a higher way. Then the worst challenge of your life becomes the greatest teacher of your life.” - The Guides as Channeled by Paul Selig, The Kingdom
The Metaphor
I have more photos of lotus flowers than I can count. That happens when you live in Asia. And, in my case, right out my front door for seven years there was a beautiful koi pond with lotus flowers growing every day. The thing about lotuses is that they feed off of the mud. When they grow, they must first push through the mud and then the muddy water before coming to the surface to bloom. Once they bloom they open during the day and shut at night. Their shape is a simple perfection. Their colors are beautiful. And there is something that just draws you to admire the lotus. It is especially sacred.
And it IS sacred. The Buddhists have used the lotus and the mud as metaphors for millennia. As you can imagine, the mud suggests crud and struggle and suffering. The lotus suggests life itself, beauty, and spiritual awakening. But note, too, that in order for the lotus to arrive at the surface and come to full bloom, it must first make its way through the mud while remaining anchored in the mud.
By now you may have discerned that the topic is hope springing from suffering itself. How appropriate that I am writing this on Easter Sunday, that day in the Christian tradition that points toward a spiritual hope for humanity arising from Christ’s suffering and death. It may not surprise you to realize that many spiritual traditions consider how hope, rising to an enlightened state, and suffering are connected.
In my first article, “The Potential for Hope,” I encouraged you to be open to the possibility of hope, even (or especially) in the middle of the mess, of the chaos, of the suffering. Here I would contend that we know that in life suffering is inescapable. And yet, when we encounter it, we may be tempted to demand, “Why? Why me? Why now?” Have you ever found yourself in that position? Have those questions ever plagued you? Has the mud threatened to suffocate you?
But here I am asking you to consider that suffering also presents opportunity. And within that opportunity lies hope.
“Suffering is made of happiness, and happiness is made of suffering.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
The Mud
Suffering, or challenges if you prefer, comes in many forms. It comes in a single moment (like being stuck in traffic). It comes in extended episodes (like battling cancer or living in poverty or experiencing infertility). It comes and goes and comes again. Without much effort I’m sure we can all bring to mind moments or stretches of challenge and suffering.
I (1999-2004)
For about five years of our lives my husband and I were consumed with how to start a family. Nothing was going the way it was “supposed to” go. What we thought would be a simple process of choosing to start a family became a big ordeal. At first that meant fertility clinics and tests. Then it meant a year of monthly visits to a fertility clinic two hours away. Those days were frustrating and fraught with the highs of hoping and the lows of dashed hopes month after month. We were in the thick of the mud. We only knew we imagined ourselves as parents, but we didn’t know how we would ever get there. Where was the lotus?
II (2013)
At 12 years old, our oldest son began experiencing migraines and digestive issues. He also started having vision problems. At the time he was suffering quite a lot physically. And I was worried about his health and what was causing all of these issues. At the time we were living in Korea, and for months we ran from one doctor to the next (often needing a translator with us). After every test possible that could be done on his eyes, a senior doctor finally pulled us aside and said, “There is nothing wrong with his eyes. We believe the problem is psychosomatic.” This is when we finally began to realize that the real issue was anxiety and depression. So that was the mud. So much mud! Metaphorically and literally speaking, he was up to his eyes in mud, and we were too. Where was the lotus?
The Lotus
I (2004)
Our mud - infertility - was requiring patience at every turn. Month by month we waited. Then tried again. Then waited again. Eventually we decided that adoption was the better path. That presented its own challenges involving adoption agencies, social worker visits, home studies, and many, many visits to government agencies. And it required TIME. “Be patient,” we reminded each other, “we are learning patience.” It wasn’t until five years later in 2004 that we would actually become parents, adopting both of our two children in a matter of 7.5 months. (Only then would we begin to truly understand why we NEEDED to learn patience!)
II (2022)
Now that years have passed, our oldest son has learned much more about how to manage his anxiety and depression. They aren’t gone. But they have provided opportunities for growth and beauty, too. Without this mud he may never have discovered blossoming passions and talents: physical fitness, strength training, swimming, dancing, writing and artistry. His desire to create from this “mud” has led to hundreds of pieces of art and a passion for expressing his perspective through special effects makeup. Because he knows anxiety and depression intimately, he chose to create artwork expressing what it is. This artwork, in turn, can connect to others who experience the same or it can enlighten those who do not know it personally. Here are his depictions of anxiety and depression respectively (Photo Credit: Rosedelacrimson. To also read the artist’s statements, go to his Instagram):
In turn, my son’s makeup portfolio became instrumental in his application to Vancouver Film School for their Special Effects Makeup and Design program where he will begin in the Fall.
He has learned about himself and others. He has grown more compassionate and caring. He has grown as an artist. He has grown spiritually. He is a beautiful lotus that comes from the mud.
Awareness
There is always mud. And much of the time we are well aware of the mud. The hope comes when you are AWARE that mud is providing an opportunity for you to flower, to grow, to become the more true You. You become aware that the mud - the suffering - is your teacher. I have learned and experience this awareness frequently. Life is entirely different once you have acquired such an awareness; really, it is. You no longer throw your hands up in despair and ask angrily, “Why? Why me? Why now?” You begin to sincerely inquire, “Why? Why now? What is the opportunity here? How am I being called to grow? What am I learning?”
Asking such questions with an open heart, a heart willing to be in the mud, truly changes everything. Again, this is a moment by moment learning. And one can start absolutely small, as small as. . . say. . . being stuck in a traffic jam. Rather than immediately shifting into the this-sucks-and-the-whole-world-is-against-me train of thought, you can catch yourself. You can become aware. You can have that aha moment that says, “Ah, here is some mud. How is it presenting me with an opportunity to grow?” And then you do something differently! You catch the road rage before it begins. You breathe deeply. You might say, “Ah. I am learning patience.” Or, “I can use this time to teach myself how to relax in the midst of chaos and stress.” You can do a thousand things that AREN’T angry and reactive! You can laugh. Listen to a podcast. Call a friend. Breathe. Pray for other drivers. Remind yourself you are loved and worthy of love. Congratulate yourself for choosing a new way to respond today. You can wonder if you can actually lower your blood pressure while stuck in traffic. (This is, in fact, how I began my journey of realization and growth. I started by becoming aware of myself during my morning commute to my teaching job.)
From the mud comes the lotus. It starts here and now if you choose it.
How is your mud growing you?
Collectively, the Lotus Rises
The moment you look about you, you may see the planet itself appears to be mired in mud. So much mud. But we aren’t the mud. We are the lotus! I would encourage you to be open to the possibility that as humans we are collectively experiencing a growth spurt as we become the lotus.
Can you imagine that a lotus knows itself as a lotus even when it is just a green shoot and before it surfaces and flowers? It may not know the colors it will be. It may not know much at all about what life will be once it is a full, flowering lotus, but it Knows the truth of itself!
As humanity, we have much to learn. And each day the challenges and suffering present us with opportunities to do just that. Through acts of violence and war we can realize the senselessness of violence and war. Through the dysfunction of systems, we can learn how to change and reconstruct our systems. The whole of humanity is a collection of individuals. And as individuals attain awareness, so too does the whole of humanity. We are learning who we truly are. In some ways the process is slow and on-going like a rhythmic opening and closing of petals. At the same time, the beauty of the lotus and the realization of humanity happens the very moment it happens. We rise and bloom together.
Resources
Rosedelacrimson. “Depression.” Instagram, 29 July 2020.
Rosedelacrimson. “Anxiety.” Instagram, 31 July 2020.
Selig, Paul. The Kingdom. St. Martin’s Essentials, 2021.
Shiva. “The Lotus and the Mud: Understanding the Murky Life of a Sacred Flower.” Buddhists.org, 21 August 2015, https://buddhists.org/the-lotus-and-the-mud-understanding-the-murky-life-of-a-sacred-flower/
Next up: Flowing Toward Purpose
You can find my other series
“Parenting 101 Coupons: A Gift from your Parents,”
“Partnering 101: A Deep Dive into Leaving Kindly”
“Me-Time 101: Self-care in the time of Covid”
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Brenda BraykoWriter. Teacher. Gong Player.
Find more of my writing at GreenBaytoKorea.blogspot.com
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On Instagram @applebb09
All photos by © Brenda Brayko 2022 unless otherwise noted.