Play to listen!
And now. . .
I took a few weeks off from writing. The time was well-spent! My oldest, Adam, is now settled in his new home in Vancouver, BC. Everything is shiny and new once again as he gets to know a new city, a new school program, and a new version of himself - as you do when you have just turned 21.
Personally, I remember my early 20’s with great fondness. However, I also recognize that I have gone through several iterations of myself in the three decades that have passed since then. And aren’t we all incrementally changing and growing until one day we look back and say, “Wait! Is that the same me as the me now?”
In a way, that is what this new series is about, too, transformation: from fog to flow. In recent months I have realized that my life has gone into a flow marked by ease, compassion, and open-heartedness. It hasn’t always been that way, to be sure. I came from and through the fog to get here. Please know that I don’t take anything for granted and I know that Life can throw curve balls at any moment. But for now, I am here. And in case you are in the fog yourself or know someone who is, I would like to provide practical and actionable ways to move through the fog to flow.
Fog
What is the fog? For me it was one crisis after another always calling for my attention and never giving me room to relax or breathe. That was the “me” of about a decade ago. Momming (I like my made up verb) took all my energy and attention. I was worried about my 13 year old’s physical health problems and taking my child to three doctors appointments weekly. Two years later the fog had still not lifted but had transformed into the heaviness of caring for someone with mental health challenges and body dysphoria. I don’t share this because I am seeking any pity. From where I stand now I am actually quite grateful for the foggy years; but I do share this so that you know my sincerity when I say, “I have been there.”
For many of the high school students I have taught over the years, fog is the drudgery of day to day life - 8 to 4 - seemingly on endless repeat with no clear meaning or sense of agency. They fall victim to the mantra: School. College. Work. Money. Their sense of self and joy may feel squashed by the expectations they believe parents and society places upon them.
In One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey, the narrator Chief Bromden is often overwhelmed by an invisible fog that settles over him and the other mental ward patients. Eventually, with the aid of protagonist Randle McMurphy, this fog lifts enough for Chief Bromden to regain his clarity and self-confidence, eventually escaping the prison that has been the ward. For many of Kesey’s readers, young and old, Chief Bromden’s story feels all too familiar - feeling trapped by forces that seem beyond your control, wishing for more but not knowing what the next step is.
What is the fog for you?
What is the fog for you? Overwhelm? Disillusionment? Boredom? Grief? Depression or anxiety? Endless expectations of others? Pain? Take a moment to reflect on this question. If you recognise in yourself the heaviness in the body, the mind, or the heart that accompanies being out of flow, then come back each week; I wish to take your hand and walk you toward the healing river that can bring you back into clarity and lightness of being.
Flow
What is flow? Flow is like floating on a river arms open wide with joy and wonder. For me it is moving through the day with sliding doors opening when they are supposed to, random strangers helping me find my way, having conversations with loved ones and strangers unfolding with ease (even when you disagree), waking up moments before the alarm or not even needing an alarm. It’s needing to find a car in a tight economy for cars and having a 2016 Prius land in my path. It’s the right job appearing at the right time with little effort. When I am in flow it is as if Life itself anticipates my needs from the small to the grand. It’s the moments when I feel compelled to say, “Wow! Thank you, God. That was perfect and unexpected.”
What is flow to you?
What is flow to you? Ease? Enjoyment? Connection? Creativity? Discovery? The current of love? Take a moment to reflect on this question. If you recognize in yourself a lightness of being, you already know you are experiencing flow. Come back each week and add your voice and experience to my own for the benefit of others.
Grab a journal
In this 10-part series I intend to provide practical, logical steps to guide you from fog to flow. Along the way anticipate Cheat Sheets that ask you to try new things, log your progress, and reflect upon your journey. Emerging from the fog doesn’t just happen; it takes work. It takes paying attention to things that you may have previously dismissed as coincidence. It takes building trust from those moments experiential evidence arrives. It takes belief in something beyond yourself that can guide you on your way.
If you have been reading my previous series, THANK YOU! This series in some ways builds off of the previous series Me-time: Self-care in the time of Covid and Reasons for Hope. The information will be new with no need to be familiar with the other series (although I would love for you each to benefit from them, as well.) In this series, please anticipate questions for you to reflect upon each week. So grab a notebook and title it “Life Cheat Sheets: From Fog to Flow” and get ready to find your flow.
Reflection prompt:
What is fog to me? How do I experience fog in my life presently?
What is flow to me? How do I experience flow in my life presently?
Next time: Turn down the Noise
You can find all of my series in the archives:
Parenting 101 Coupons: A Gift from your Parents
Partnering 101: A Deep Dive into Leaving Kindly
Me-Time: Self-care in the time of Covid
Reasons for Hope
If you like it, share it! Help me reach my goal of 100 subscribers.
Brenda BraykoWriter. Teacher. Gong Player.
Find more of my writing at GreenBaytoKorea.blogspot.com
Learn about my business at CelestialSoundGB.com
On Instagram @applebb09
All photos by © Brenda Brayko 2022.
No one I would have rather been with in the foggy times!
This was wonderful! I am sure that many of us have gone through very heavy fog thinking there is no way out. But then the sun shines again and you marvel at its beauty. I love reading your poetry and writings! Keep on keeping on!