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Tradition
In the words from Fiddler on the Roof, “Tradition! Tradition!” What could conjure more expectation of tradition than an American Thanksgiving? Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, family, football. You name it.
This Thanksgiving provided the context for the first of many Lessons in Life School (the focus for this next series of articles) - BECOMING ADAPTABLE. (Okay, even more adaptable.). One thing I already know is that life lessons make appearances again and again, (like a spiral) so that we can continue learning to a greater and greater depth.
Our family has spent many Thanksgivings abroad. So, in some respect, we have already begun our life lessons of adaptability in the presence of this holiday. Without family nearby we had celebrated what would now be called Friends-giving. However, being back in Wisconsin carries a certain weight of tradition with it. One yearns for the turkey, potatoes, stuffing, and pie from the “good ole days.”
Adapting
On Thanksgiving Day we actually didn’t even eat at home this year. This was a significant deviation from “tradition.” Instead, we had made plans to celebrate a few days later for the convenience of our guests. We decided to find a local buffet celebrating Thanksgiving fare. Adam’s friend had been invited to hang out with us Thanksgiving Day, so all five of us piled into the Jeep and headed to 1951, a nice local restaurant offering a Thanksgiving buffet. We joked about the scene from A Christmas Story where the family is forced to head out for Peking Duck after the neighbor’s dogs decimate the cooling Christmas turkey. To me, there is just something a little off about going to a restaurant on Thanksgiving Day. But we all adapted and actually had a really great day eating and then playing games at the house. Hardly the hustle and bustle of old, but that’s all a part of the lesson of adapting.
By Saturday, everyone due to arrive had arrived to celebrate Turkey Day. Our family feast consisted of the four in our immediate family plus my husband Brent’s brother, Todd. This is already a bit of a divergence from the tradition of traveling to “the grandparents’ home.” We were excited to host whomever could come, though. Both of our kids were home for the occasion, and that meant including vegan items for Adam and playing games for entertainment.
Cooking vegan food has become easier to pull off over the six or so years that Adam has been a vegan. This time we decided to incorporate dishes into the meal that everyone might like. That meant the traditional green bean casserole (3 ingredients ready in 5 minutes for the oven) needed to transform. We found a vegan recipe which calls for making everything from scratch with fresh green beans. The whole family contributed: Brent and Alec snapped the beans, Adam chopped other ingredients, and I mixed and baked. It took some time and planning, but the result was quite yummy. I also made mashed potatoes for everyone with Almond milk and vegan butter. Also just fine. While some of us ate pumpkin pie, Adam had his vegan cheesecake at the ready.
This little window into the changing nature of celebrating Thanksgiving can be seen as one example of the recent constant demand for adaptability. As you may already know, both of our kids had left the nest by early September. That was the kind of thing I was prepared for as a parent. My goodness! We had anticipated and planned for that day for years. But we hadn’t known that even my husband would leave the nest to work at a job three hours away. Adapting to an empty house was interesting. It had become quite quiet - plenty of time to do what I needed or I wanted to do, with only our cat to care for most days. The rhythm was just about set when new developments changed it all again.
By early November, Adam needed to come home for a reset and restart. This meant creating a space for him. I decided to create a suite for him where my gong studio had been. I had fun moving this here and that there, prepping the nest for his return. Once he moved in I needed to open up to a new rhythm and a new way of being. Who knew that it would also mean adapting to a new cat, too? But that is what happened. Adam simply can’t live without a comfort pet and our cat is too old and distant to fulfill that role. So, after a thorough search, Mokah came home to his new family November 23rd.
Time for more adaptation! Fortunately, Mokah is sweet, loving, and pretty well-behaved for a one year old. And our own cat Chai doesn’t seem to mind the young one being around. Change, change, and more change.
But that’s the point.
The Lesson of the Day
The thing about learning the lesson of adaptability is that it inherently means making significant decisions. Change will come; will you welcome it or resist it? Will you open your heart to it or try to shut it down? Allowing the new in, allowing for traditions to be altered can transform stress and strife to expansion and fun.
Here’s a little secret. . . The lesson of the day always presents itself. And I mean everything literally. There will be a LESSON of the DAY. Count on it. Look for it. Notice the circumstances providing the lesson then suss out the lesson itself. What are you meant to learn today? And what exactly are the complexities and nuances of that lesson? How is it a piece to a bigger puzzle of learning in your life? How is your lesson shaping you into the newer, improved version of yourself? Recognizing that you are a student in Life School makes it all just a little more interesting and perhaps even a bit easier to become adaptable.
Join me for the next several weeks as I share my lessons of the day with you in Lessons in Life School.
What lessons have come your way recently? Feel free to share by leaving a comment. And if you are a reader but not a subscriber, considering subscribing today!
You can find all of my series in the archives:
Adulting 101 Coupons: A Gift from your Parents
Partnering 101: A Deep Dive into Leaving Kindly
Me-Time: Self-care in the time of Covid
Reasons for Hope
From Fog to Flow
With a Grateful Heart
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Writer. Gong Player. Teacher.
Find more of my writing at GreenBaytoKorea.blogspot.com
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All photos by © Brenda Brayko 2022 unless otherwise credited.